July 17, 2013 – Jerry Seinfeld

The Colbert Report episode guide EPISODE NUMBER: 9124 (July 17, 2013)
GUESTS: Jerry Seinfeld
SEGMENTS: Rolling Stone’s Boston Bomber Cover | Dysfunctional House Republicans & Immigration Reform | Food Stamp Funding | Jerry Seinfeld Pt. 1 | Jerry Seinfeld Pt. 2 | Sign Off – Paper Fan
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Maroon/purple/white striped tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Hello Hubsters, blogging from my sick-bed today. I threw my back out reaching for a towel and am now stuck in bed for the rest of the week. Thankfully, there’s nothing quite like a delightfully funny episode of ‘The Colbert Report’ to cheer me up.

Don’t forget to leave your thoughts on tonight’s episode in the comments!!

Rolling Stone’s Boston Bomber Cover

Stephen Colbert on Rolling Stone Magazine

  • The cover of “Rolling Stone” Magazine has long been a cultural landmark, dating all the way back to 2006 when it featured me, along with … I want to say … Tom Daily? He makes movies now, I don’t know *shrugs*.
  • “They’re calling a boycott of the magazine [Rolling Stone].” Yes, and organising a boycott of a magazine is no easy task. Because first, you have to find someone who buys magazines.
  • I understand why people are angry that Dzhokar Tsarnaev in on the cover, because up until now “Rolling Stone’s” covers have always featured role models, like Roman Polanski, O.J. Simpson or Charles Manson.
  • Why hasn’t he [Charles Manson] put out any good music recently? He was my favourite ‘Beach Boy’.

Hitler's Final Solution for Belly Fat

“Rolling Stone” is not doing anything that hasn’t been done by other magazines. I mean, we all remember when “Men’s Health” controversial cover ‘Hitler’s Final Solution for Belly Fat’ flew off the shelves.”

Dysfunctional House Republicans & Immigration Reform

Bob Goodlatte on The Colbert Report

Virginia representative and Nordstrom make-up counter victim, Bob Goodlatte.

  • How can the House be expected to get anything done, when many of the Bills they vote on don’t even repeal Obama Care?
  • Yes, thank you. Our interior borders are defenseless *cheers and applause* When will we build the border wall with Florida? *more cheers and applause* We cannot let those maniacs into our country. It is legal to shoot each other down there.
  • How can the House be expected to get anything done, when many of the Bills they vote on don’t even repeal Obama Care?
  • Yes, thank you. Our interior borders are defenseless *cheers and applause* When will we build the border wall with Florida? *more cheers and applause* We cannot let those maniacs into our country. It is legal to shoot each other down there.
The Colbert Report on Food Stamps

You see Republicans showed that they are willing to compromise by eliminating the part of the Bill they refuse to compromise on. It’s just like a Cardiologist who’s having problems with a patients heart. Instead of getting bogged down in complicated procedures, he simply removes the heart.

Senior Root Vegetable Bob Scheiffer

CBS Senior Root Vegetable, Bob Scheiffer.

  • My goodness, how hard can it be to elbow a pigeon out of the way and peck your way to a full stomach!?
  • House Republicans are absolutely going to pass funding for food stamps at some point. And when they don’t, if people are still hungry, we’ll just combine the ‘Food Stamp Program’ with the ‘Immigration Program’ and let poor people eat Mexicans. The best part is, they are a healthy snack because they pick their own vegetables.

Interview – Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld on The Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert: You want some coffee by the way?
Jerry Seinfeld: Oh look at that, yeah … Is this really coffee?
SC: This is really coffee. Would you like some?
JS: Yeah, I would … Oh a box … that’s nice, that’s the best kind.
SC: We here at basic cable spare no expense.

Sign Off – Paper Fan

Stephen Colbert with fan

  • CN Helper

    The whole ep was grand, but enjoyed the interview with Seinfeld the best. It was great that he was on TCR after all these years, and they seemed to have good chemistry. Liked the coffee bit too. Wouldn’t be great to sit down and have a cup of coffee with Stephen? He needs to auction off coffee chats with fans for charity. They would sell, I tell ya.

    • Clem

      @CN Helper: Coffee Chats with Colbert! You are a genius, Ms. Helper! Where do I sign up?

  • I love Colbert and watch him every night he’s on – even went to a live taping once – but this was the first time that I have seen him appear a little awkward at times – felt like it took a while for the Seinfeld interview to get into its groove – since (in my opinion) Seinfeld was been a bit of an ass, not forthcoming with answers, and Colbert (at times) seemed not in charge of situation as he usually is his interviews. But the whole first half monologue made up for it.

    • Katt

      Welcome to the Hub @BillJam!!

      I’m still not entirely sure if I liked the interview or not. Can’t say I’ve ever been a Seinfeld fan, so my expectations weren’t all that high, but I certainly don’t think we really needed a two-part interview. There are much more worthy guests out there who deserve to have their project in the spotlight, and a web series about rich people in expensive cars is not one of them.

  • SJ

    Call me cynical, but I had concerns about this interview, and was correct to assume this would include my biggest pet peeve: when a guest refers to Stephen as a comedian.

    Stephen had to talk over Seinfeld in part 1 when he started saying “well you are (a comedian)”. And then it looked like they’d have a fun dance around the subject in part 2, until Seinfeld just couldn’t help himself any longer, and made that little gesture.

    Seth Meyers, by contrast, was great at this. He played it perfectly. But you can’t do this with someone who’s a pure standup, is accustomed to being fully in control, and doesn’t have a collaborative spirit. The urge to call something out for what it is will always surpass the desire to fully surrender to the game. That’s the nature of a standup’s job.

    Seinfeld should have been briefed better, imo.

    Do I even want to know what got edited out?

    • Katt

      @SJ I myself was wondering what was cut from the interview. It couldn’t have been worse than half the stuff that was left in, could it?

      Hopefully someone at the taping can enlighten us!

  • Clem

    I thought the interview with Jerry Seinfeld was amazing. I am a huge fan of Seinfeld. I love Jerry’s style and I love Stephen’s style. (Two of my favorite funny men!) I thought they played off of each other fantastically. I loved that improvised “awkward silence” as they sipped their coffee! It was really cool when they discussed the comedians who came before them. All in all, I completely loved the interview.

  • Katt

    I wonder if Stephen generally new all of those facts about the studio and furniture, or if it was researched especially for the interview? Though knowing Stephen he probably rattled them off of the top of his head.

    I don’t know which writer(s) come up with these “CBS Senior Root Vegetable, Bob Scheiffer.” but they deserve an Emmy!!

    • CN Helper

      I am sorry to hear that you threw your back out. I guess it is the one injury that actually enhances your blogging productivity, however. Hope you are back up and about soon. I am also digging the new reply features we have here. “And that’s the word…” Sometimes the blog is so cute I just want to hug it.

      • Clem

        I’d like to hug it, too! This blog is so fascinating to me. Every time I come back here there is something new and wonderful! (Case in point — The screenshot up above of Hitler on the cover of Men’s Health! Haha!) Just like the folks over at TCR, this blog gets cooler and cooler everyday.

        Get better soon, Katt!

      • Katt

        Thanks @CNHelper and Clem!! I’m glad you’re both enjoying all the latest offerings here at the Hub!!

        Hopefully my back will be better soon, though I do quite enjoy being tucked under my blankie on a cold, wet, winters day.

  • Rick

    I thought there was no chemistry at all between the two. Seinfeld seemed intimidated and broke out of his funny personality right from the beginning. He just couldn’t handle the possibility of losing his gigantic ego. I think Colbert didn’t know Seinfeld (and didn’t care) but half way through the interview he seemed to have understood his egocentric personality. Colbert is by no means an easy host to deal with but Seinfeld was too protective of himself and came off as hostile and not as funny as usual.

    Calm down Seinfeld!!