July 15, 2013 — Jeremy Scahill

The Colbert Report episode guide EPISODE NUMBER: 9123 (July 15, 2013)
GUESTS: Jeremy Scahill
SEGMENTS: Stephen’s Vacation | George Zimmerman Verdict | People Destroying America – Lynn Harrell | KTVU-TV on Asiana Airlines Crash | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Black Suit | White Shirt | Yellow/Gold/Maroon Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, July 15, 2013

White people, stop being so scared of young black men.

” White people, stop being so scared of young black men. Young black men, stop being so scary. Take some personal responsibility for how white people feel around you. Lose the hoodies. Wear something non-threatening.”

Episode Round-Up

And … we’re back! Welcome back, Stephen! He’s once again looking tanned and rested and ready to deal with an extremely busy news cycle. We had a lot packed into this show, with an impassioned evisceration of the prosecution and Florida’s “rule of law” regarding the verdict in the Trayvon Martin case. Stephen also detailed a lengthy explanation of how this widely-lamented ruling now brings the whole racial quality issue on “equal” footing. Whites and blacks are “even,” now, according to our fearless host.

As usual, coming back from break we had a nice field piece, People Who Are Destroying America, with cellist Lynn Harrell demonstrating the lengths folks will go to get more frequent flyer miles. The racial overtones jokingly assigned at the end of the piece were a bit much for me, and Harrell kind of was creepy in how he was stroking his cello there, but it was overall a very funny story.

Stephen covered the Asiana crash … well KTVU’s reporting of the Asiana crash, leading to far better pilot names than that summer intern could come with, like “Ha Yu Lan Dis Tang.” And Munchma Quchi made a cameo! How we’ve missed you.

Finally, a pretty intense interview with Jeremy Scahill. He was remarkably, passionately attached to arguing his viewpoints, and Stephen was equally combative, making for a pretty thrilling ride of an exchange. The use of drones continues to cast a dark pall over the Obama administration, and journalists like Scahill are to be commended for shining a light on the murkiness surrounding these practices.

What did you think of this return to shows? Comment strong! We’ll have lots more later on. [Update: done!]

Stephen’s Vacation

Stephen Colbert tan

“And folks, good to have ME with us, because, I was on vacation for the last two weeks, as you might have guessed from this savage tan. I’m so dark that when I take my shirt off you can barely see my veins and organs. It leaves a little more to the imagination. “

Stephen Colbert in Egypt

“Now, I won’t brag about how I spent my vacation, but let’s just say someone’s got the inside track on the Deputy Finance Minister of Egypt….”

George Zimmerman Verdict

Murder faster-

  • People are tracking [the Zimmerman verdict] like it’s a black teenager in a gated community.
  • This is a victory for the rule of law, in that Florida no longer has rules or laws.
  • Fox news analyst, inventor of the “lip hoodie,” Geraldo Rivera …
  • If [the Zimmerman] trial proves anything — and I’m not sure it does, because the prosecution certainly didn’t — it’s that America has no patience for transgressors. We punish them harshly. Those who break our state or federal laws go to jail, while those who break our moral laws go into New York city politics.
Zimmerman trial jury

Stephen enumerates the reasons why our current racial divide is officially a draw: “It’s even now, okay? So we can stop this whole racial thing here. “

White presidents

Obama gets two points for two elections, but: “Of course, for the previous 43 white presidents, white people accumulated: one point.”

People Destroying America – Lynn Harrell

People Destroying America

Lynn Harrell on The Colbert Report

Lynn Harrell laments the loss of his soul mate, Cello Harrell’s frequent flier miles, on the mere technicality it is an inanimate object.

KTVU-TV on Asiana Airlines Crash

The Colbert Report on KTVU Asian Airlines crash

“Well, obviously that was a major Fuk up. Wi Tu Lo? Band Ding Ow? This is a Korean airline. Those are Chinese names. That’s racist. If you’re going to do a racist joke at least get the ethnicity right. Like Captain Park Ma Plen Tu Sun. Or … Ha Yu Lan Dis Tang”

Hu Yu Lan Dis Tamg

KTVU blames intern

“KTVU may be blaming this on the NTSB for confirming the names, but they still have not explained who put those fake names into the news script in the first place. I’ll tell you who I blame. KTVU’s news director Munchma Quchi.”

Interview – Jeremy Schall

Jeremy Scahill on The Colbert Report

“If an American citizen is going to be executed on orders of the President, and he’s not posing an imminent threat, the government has the burden to present the evidence against them, and [the accused should] have a chance to respond to the evidence.”

  • Clem

    What a strong return. Stephen really hit the ground running with this episode. Pure energy! He tackled some difficult subjects and cracked me up along the way.

    And now we know what Munchma Quchi has been up to!

    • CN Helper

      @Clem: Muchma Quchi…great character or greatest character break? Although I am always partial to the Basil Marceux break. Or maybe Kato the Elder (google it).

      • Clem

        @CN Helper: Googled! I loved hearing Stephen speak Latin! Haha!

  • llama

    I don’t know for sure, but I suspect someone on the staff of the Howard Stern show came up with those fake names.

    • CN Helper

      @llama: It is very Stern-esque. Is that even an adjective????!

  • Katt

    Considering all of the news that broke during their break, the show certainly didn’t cover the topics I was expecting. The ‘People Destroying America – Lynn Harrell’ segment seemed a bit too long and out of place, but perhaps that was due to ‘The Daily Show’ blackout. I imagine it might have been a segment they already had in the can for emergencies.

    Having said that, I did love Stephen’s take on the ‘KTVU-TV on Asiana Airlines Crash’. And the return of Munchma Quchi was such a welcome surprise. She is still one of the most searched for things on our site!