January 7, 2013 — Jimmy Wales

The Colbert Report episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 9039 (January 7, 2013)
GUESTS: Jimmy Wales
STAFF CAMEO: Max Werner | Meredith Scardino
SEGMENTS: Intro – 1/7/13 | Stephen’s Holiday Break | Fiscal Cliff Deal and Disincentives | The Platinum Debt Ceiling Solution | Blood in the Water: Bill O’Reilly’s Racial Insensitivity | Jimmy Wales | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark Grey Pinstriped Suit | White Shirt | Grey Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, January 7, 2013

WELCOME BACK, STEPHEN!

Stephen Colbert on the Mayan Calendar

“It’s 2013 Suck it Mayans! This is the Colbert Report”

It’s nice to hear that again!

Stephen’s Holiday Break

The show was away for three weeks and Stephen spent the first six days just going to the bathroom. “it was a long election season”.

“Even though I had three weeks off, do not worry nation. I am not Rusty .. .Am I? Wait I want to make sure I am not Rusty … Rusty Colbert? I’ll just Google that hold on … OH! Do not Google Rusty Colbert. Although he does look like me”
Rusty Colbert
Stephen Colbert on gay penguins“I’m Stephen Colbert and I get super angry over gay penguins, or super gay over angry penguins, I don’t know”

Fiscal Cliff deal and Disincentives

“39.6% Mr. President? How is Kim-ye supposed to afford a baby now?”

Did he make up Kim-ye or is that their official couple name? I’m not up on such matters. The tax rate is going up and it’s punishing success. Ugh, sick and tired of hearing people complain about how punishing it is to get taxed higher. Taxes are still low for Puerto Rican rum guys, NASCAR people, algae growers and Hollywood film people. So Stephen has a new product out called “Capt. Colbert’s Pond Rum”
Captain Colbert's Pond Rum“Just like we would’ve plunged over the Fiscal cliff, we will hit the debt ceiling and…..go through it. Or get crushed by it. Or we might have to make a skylight in it which sounds nice but they rarely get caulked properly and when it rains it drips and it ruins your Seisel (?) carpet”

Stephen Colbert on the debt ceilingSo now maybe congress is going to mint a trillion dollar coin that will magically fix everything. “We should’ve known a coin was Obama’s solution to everything, it’s right there in his campaign slogan; Change”

Blood in The Water: Bill O’Reilly

“To this day [Wikipedia's elephant page] remains semi-protected until March 2014. Which means thanks to you, Wikipedia’s elephant page has more protection, than elephants.”

Then Stephen came to the defense of Papa Bear because of the liberal media’s latest attacks. I mean, you can’t insult Asians these days without getting called out for it by the liberal media. Anyone notice how as Papa Bear was saying that Asians “were hard-working and industrious” they were showing a clip, on Fox, of what appeared to be, well, let’s call them ‘ladies of the evening’?

WOW! Three “technical difficulties” in one segment. Is that a new record? Stephen managed to get sued three times in one segment for talking about Jews, Latinos, Women…I think he also threw in Vietnamese. I think Papa Bear’s show needs the “technical difficulties” screen. Although it may turn into ‘The technical difficulties Factor”.

The Colbert Report technical difficultiesInterview – Jimmy Wales

Before we move to the interview, anyone notice the nice new tweaking they gave the set? I guess the crew didn’t get to fully enjoy the three week break but I like it, looks nice. Good job guys!

The Colbert Report new set
A tie-less Jimmy Wales came on to discuss Wikipedia’s big budget that apparently doesn’t go to it’s unpaid writers and editors. I was actually distracted a little, by the new set. I have no idea what was said in the interview, but I remember a few things.

Stephen: “What’s your business model?”
Jimmy: “well, we’re a charity and we exist from donations from the public”
Stephen: “Okay, so you have no business model”

Stephen: “Why won’t you take advertising? It’s so easy, product placement. Under Marie Antoinette’s ‘Let them eat cake’ entry just have an Entenmann’s ad.”

  • Mr. Arkadin

    I loved the O’Reilly segment that became a smack down of Ed Schulz (AKA the talking smoked gouda) that then evolved into poor “Stephen” and his trouble with the Jews and the ladies not being able to take a compliment. They’re so sensitive!

    It’s great to have him and the show back. I got to go to bed with a smile again.

    BTW: Did anyone else think Stephen’s face looked sunburned?

  • Katt

    @Mr. Arkadin

    Yes, his forehead did look redder than usual.

  • Anna S

    What a fun show! LOVED all the technical difficulties.

  • CN Helper

    I really didn’t really follow the news around the “minted coin” thing, so it was nice that they covered it. I think a lot of people wish they could mint their own currency so as to eradicate their own personal debt.

    Also the bit with the lawyers was very funny in the O’Reilly segment, it was nice to see Max Werner and Meredith Scardino. Boy, Stephen is under careful watch by his network ;)

  • llama

    @CN Helper
    Yes, other than an odd headline on HuffPo about Krugman saying “mint the coin” I really had no idea what that was all about. I love how I can watch the show and get caught up on everything that’s been going on in the news. Stephen said in an interview that his viewers have to get their news from other sources because we wouldn’t get the jokes, but I have to disagree. I don’t watch the news. I read the headlines, but in many cases, I find out about many stories by watching Jon and Stephen and then I go and find out more about it, in some cases to find out if the outrageous thing they covered is actually true or not. I think they do a great job, much better than real journalists, at covering the news.

  • lockhart43

    The technical difficulties bit was my favorite part of the show – I just love that graphic. Second favorite part of the show definitely had to be this line: “I’m Stephen Colbert and I get super angry over gay penguins. Or super gay over angry penguins, I don’t know.” HA!

    @llama – I did notice the new set changes, but I’m still glad you pointed it out. It looks like they added a new screen (the one behind Stephen’s head, I think) for the background image at the interview desk, revamped the lights on the wall, and removed some shelves. Maybe after redoing the set for Hobbit Week, they decided to switch it up for good? Either way, I like it!

  • http://pear.ly/bqtcD Mrc

    Technical difficulties bit was definitely my favorite part of episode.

    About the coin… that whole thing reminds me of ‘The Simpsons’ episode where Mr. Burns has a trillion-dollar bill. Maybe that’s how they got the idea? :)

    BTW, I Googled ‘Rusty Colbert’ and this was the first picture (I had ‘Safe Search’ on, it’s SFW):

  • http://pear.ly/bqtcD Mrc

    Sorry, link didn’t show up for some reason: http://i.imgur.com/G7TIR.jpg

  • CN Helper

    @Mrc I think that’s an interesting choice for “rusty Colbert.”

    @llama Sometimes I have to admit, even a news junkie like myself has to really on good ol’ Stephen and Jon on occasion. I saw the story on Huffpo, but I have been kind of tired of the non-stop Krugman stories (if they could be obsessed with an economist, it would be Krugman), but the ridiculousness of it became fully understandable after watching TCR last night.