EPISODE NUMBER: 9038 (December 13, 2012)
GUESTS: Sister Simone Campbell
SPECIAL GUESTS: Jeff Tweedy | Mavis Staples | Sean Lennon | Hugh Bonneville | Jim Carter | Rob James-Collier
SEGMENTS: Hurricane Sandy Mega Concert | Uncensored – Breaking Abbey | Colbert Super PAC – The Ham Rove Memorial Fund | Sign Off – Jeff Tweedy, Mavis Staples & Sean Lennon – “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)”
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | Blue shirt | Red/white striped tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, December 13, 2012
HUGE SHOW FOR THE END OF A HUGE YEAR!
Stephen got his drink on then talked about the Hurricane Sandy Relief concert where he performed the night before.
“[Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen, Eric Clapton] …were all just opening acts for rock legend Stephen Colbert.”
“I was honored to be there and to be just offstage filming Mick Jagger shaking his sexy bag of bones”
The perks of being first lady.
Michelle Obama gets to watch an advanced copy of ‘Downton Abbey’ before it premieres next month.
“Oh yes, chop chop! Fetch me the ‘Downtons’ NOW!”
“We commoners are left in fear of what will happen to Downton as it lurches into the 20th century. Will Grantham accept Sybil’s baby with Branson? Will the dowager countess accept the marriage proposal from a young Corporal Hitler?”
However, Stephen has footage from Vince Gilligan of some scenes from the upcoming final season of Breaking Bad, performed by the men of Downton Abbey:
“I promised the buyer product and a gentleman keeps his word or one has a cap popped in one’s ass”
“Soon Downton will be kicking it with mad bitches and benjamins”
That’s the best, right there. The pinky and all. “I’ll take that s*** with some milk”
The Ham Rove memorial fund.
The money from the Super PAC was funneled into the Ham Rove memorial fund. “Ham was chief strategist and principal lunch meat for Colbert Super PAC.”
It was donated to charities:
“I wanted the money to go to Unicef. Unfortunately the rest of the board found out that Unicef is the name of my yacht.”
$125K each to Donors Choose, Team Rubicon’s Sandy outreach, Habitat for Humanity, The Yellow Ribbon fund.
The remainder of the money is split among the Center for Responsive Politics and the Campaign Legal Center where each has named a room in memoriam to the Super PAC and to Ham Rove, respectively. They are organizations that are working for campaign finance reform.
“As these advocates for transparency are moaning about how powerless they are to stop it, little Ham here, will be up on that wall watching the whole thing unfold with relish…and maybe a little dijon.”
Sister Simone Campbell
She was named one of the brave thinkers of 2012, by The Atlantic magazine, for publicly disagreeing with the Pope about what the church needs to be most focused on and what it should put on the back burner, so to speak.
She also is a staunch advocate for the needs of the poor.
Stephen: Why do we have to talk about the poor? It’s Christmastime, keep it light, it’s a happy time of year.
Sister Simone: but that’s exactly what Jesus is all about.
She is still trying to defeat Paul Ryan’s budget. Sister Simone is a wonderful woman. She really has it right when it comes to what Jesus believed in. I’m wishing her luck in her efforts to defeat Paul Ryan.
Mavis Staples, Sean Lennon, Jeff Tweedy and the Harlem Gospel choir sing “This is Christmas (war is over)” which is available on itunes.
Merry Christmas, Nation!