March 13, 2012 — Andrew Bird

EPISODE: 8070 (March 13, 2012)
GUEST: Andrew Bird
SEGMENTS: Whos’ not Honoring Me Now? Seattle’s Pop Conference | Threatdown-Stoned Pat Robertson, Muslim-American Reality TV and Pampered Bears |Indecision 2012-Republican Southern Primary-Simplified Speeches
SUIT REPORT: Black suit jacket | White Dress shirt | Yellow tie with blue stripes
VIDEOS: Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I was so thrilled to see the story about bears exfoliating, because I read about that and immediately thought it was great material for the next threatdown. Also, Pat Robertson? WOW, I mean, WOW! Never thought I’d see the day.

I was also thrilled to realize that I am missing out on the Seattle Pop Conference. I mean, oh what a shame I have to miss the Seattle Pop Conference. I may never get to hear “I Love a Pride Parade: Queer Community Building, Temporary Spaces and Politicized Kitsch among LGBT marching bands”. I will try to go on.

Seriously, did Rick Santorum really say that??? I have to believe that Obama will win by default in November. None of those guys deserves the nomination.

I was pleasantly surprised with Andrew Bird’s music. I heard some of it for the first time yesterday and didn’t think I would like his songs, but it was good. That unnamed writer’s story was charming and now the speculation begins…I’m gonna guess Dr Eichler?

I thought I might do something a tad different and start off with a glorious “We can see behind Stephen’s desk” opening shot. I love it when they do those. It’s fun to try to see what he has back there.


“Of course, I was into LGBT marching bands way before their kitsch became politicized in temporary spaces.”

“It’s time for my award-lacking segment, ‘Who’s Not Honoring Me Now?'”

Stephen’s rejected paper:

“Self Love in an elevator: Appalonian images of Hedonism, Eroticism and the Mechanized Urban Lanscape of Post-Comeback Aerosmith”

“They said that my ontology was false and they couldn’t hear a single”

Pat Robertson, “self-deflating mylar balloon”.

“It is so sad when an old man begins to find his mind. Pat is showing all the signs of age-related ‘mentia”.

“We must stop Pat before the 700 Club becomes the 4:20 Club”


“He’s Persian Perfection, I love him, you think this is easy…What am I doing? Snap out of it Col-berT”

“Bears have gone metrosexual”

“I like to eat y’all’s cheesy grits”

“Everybody knows that before factories and cars, earth had no vegetation, that’s why they’re called ‘plants'”

Stephen:”You’ve played at renaissance fairs and funerals.”

Andrew: “Yes.”

Stephen: “Which is sadder?”

Now for the eye candy:

From the bonus song:

  • colbaby

    Haha, that screencap is pure win. The old WPTS Patterson Springs look. “Snap out of it, ColberT!”

    So many great lines last night, but I especially loved, “Because if you put a windmill on top of your car, then where does the dog go?”

    • anais0509

      There were def a lot of great quotes on that show (that one’s my fave, too)! I marvel at the wittiness of Stephen and his writers.

  • AgentNutmeg

    Can I just say, how funny it is that Stephen brought up the earworm phenomenon with Andrew Bird, just after it was a discussion here on CNH? Such a great performance by Mr. Bird. Really loving Stephen’s selection of musical guests lately.

    • karenatasha

      Yes! I noticed that, although he did it in a slightly different way: not so much about a tune that you can’t get out of your head, but an emotional association with a song that you can’t get rid of. But I bet the two phenomena are connected.

      It was a pretty funny question, though and definitely related to our discussion.

      I loved Andrew Bird, loved the music, and loved the episode. And, yeah, Colbaby: the windmill and the dog line was the topper!

      Pity Santorum’s two victories occurred too late for the shows. Maybe this evening. Guess Romney’s not a redneck.

  • CN Helper

    I just want to say that I am so mad about this “Shahs of the Sunset,” thing going on TLC. I wasn’t aware of it until last night’s show, so I am grateful to TCR for giving me the heads up. My husband is Iranian-American, and I can’t think of a worse idea for a program at a worse time in geo-politics. These clowns on this show do not represent the large number of Iranians in the U.S., obviously– there are even some petitions going around to get TLC to take it off the air, but I am sure the ratings will do a better job of that.

    On a lighter note, Andrew Bird was wonderful, and I loved the unnamed TCR writer’s anecdote about his music. Hey, it wasn’t meant to be, Unnamed Writer! But chin up, you are awesome, whomever you are. Just don’t take it out on the Andrew Bird.

    Oh, and stoned Pat Robertson! I agree, some Logic Syndrome is afflicting him lately.

  • karenatasha

    By the way, I’d like to give a special thumbs-up to Jon for last night’s brilliant “The Vulgar Games,” an impassioned defense of comedy in the face of Faux News’s criticisms. If you haven’t seen it, go the The Daily Show site right now. One of his best, and I think meaningful to Stephen’s fans, as well.

    • AgentNutmeg

      x2. That segment was pitch perfect.

    • anais0509

      That segment was FANTASTIC. Watching the ep online, right after that final line, I sat there in the kitchen clapping and wearing a Cheshire Cat-like grin on my face all through the commercials, and did not stop until the next segment began. It was that good. You can tell just how fired up Jon was during that rant and how emotionally satisfied he must have felt after he was done. And I can’t help imagining that somewhere in a little Northeastern metropolis, in a red-brick building, in a cosy little office covered in Americana, LOTR and fan memorabilia, a certain dark-haired gentleman that we know oh so very well is also watching that bit and grinning, clapping and filled with admiration (just like everyone else) for a certain little meshugenah.

      • karenatasha

        I’m sure that dark-haired (Southern) gentleman did exactly that, Anais. I’m quite sure.